Recently, I joined a book club after hearing positive things about it from my hairdresser. She was enthusiastic and stated she attended once weekly as time away from family and to build up her female friendships. I thought that was a great idea and since I work full-time, work independently and live alone, I too would like to build up my social life and besides, who wouldn’t like more friends? So, I went to the bookstore she recommended and bought a book so I could join the club.
The vibe of the bookstore (which is also a bar) was hip, low-key, and cozy. Lighting was poor but I wasn’t concerned about that since I would be reading mostly at home or on an iPad. There was a bartender making drinks at a wood-paneled bar and a relaxed atmosphere. There was a fire burning in the fireplace and stuffed leather chairs along with tables and benches for seating. I saw one older couple my age sitting awkwardly at a bench side by side, watching everyone, which made me feel self-conscious. Most younger folks were reading or talking quietly at tables. They did not have a huge selection of books but I found one that intrigued me plus the book club choice. I made my way to the register where a mother and daughter were checking out, which made me feel somewhat like I may belong here (although I have no daughter). My doubts came up when I went to buy my book. I asked about the book club and the impossibly young ladies there, who appeared to be about 14 years old, with various facial piercings, lash extensions, acrylic nails, facial gems, and tattoos, appeared perplexed. I asked about the club and they seemed almost reluctant to give me information about it. They provided me with the needed information and I checked out. I was added to their weekly newsletter as well. They were polite but guarded.
This week, I received a newsletter from the bookstore. They now have an “over 50s happy hour” between 5 and 7pm for us oldsters to have drinks and talk weekly. Then, the same night, from 7pm on, it’s a time for ladies aged 25 to 45 years old to talk, play games, drink and meet others, both men and women as a Valentine’s Day event.
I was taken aback by the separation of the age groups. What did that mean? I do not get off work until 6:30pm so am I too old to go the younger women’s special night to talk to people? I can go from 6:45pm to 7pm and then leave? I know that sounds silly, but I was genuinely confused about the newsletter. I appreciated that they wished to create a space for older women since making friends past age 35 can be difficult. However, I just wasn’t sure why we had to be separated from younger women, like we would be boring or have nothing to talk about of any importance to anyone. It’s true, I have no tattoos, only one piercing in each ear and have short nails. I don’t dress in a modern fashion because I opt for comfort. I wear flat shoes and boring tops and stretchy pants but does that mean I’m invisible or only welcome for two hours once a week? Odd, since older women usually have more disposable income and can buy more stuff! I would want older people with money and high credit card limits in my store. Maybe this is more of a bar atmosphere than I initially though it was. It leaves me doubtful and a bit anxious about attending an actual book club meeting. And leaving me to think I need to create an Old Crone bookstore for us oldsters who want to be comfortable, drink, talk and not be judged by appearance (or less judged). We can come as you are, not dipped in bleach, but cranky and stinky from work so we old ladies can commiserate about being invisible and alone and missing the old Women’s Lib days. I need to set up a payment link I guess, to get it going.
Percolations 